the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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