Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
