I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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