That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize