She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
