Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
