in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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