She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I need help removing her.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize