I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
