I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
