What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
