He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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