He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
