i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
