Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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