quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
