Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
