yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize