'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
high people should be assigned attendants
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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