called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
