I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
