I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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