did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
