just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I would ride that face into the sunset
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
