You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize