Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Your tits are I can't wait for
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
