I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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