I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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