So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Randomize
