So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
