You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's great music for shaving your balls
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
