I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
