I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
