i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
