I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
