Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
