I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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