So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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