i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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