we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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