so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
