Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
lol hangovers are for mortals.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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