11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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