Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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