I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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