i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
