my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize