Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
