some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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