May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
