During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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