I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
