I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
