Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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