I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
