I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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