do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
