you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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