He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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