Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize