dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sext me about skeletons
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize